28. Trust Issues

Just agree lol, problems = solved!

27. Dream Four

Hmmm I should've wrote this down when I remembered, but was too busy with school etc.

Anyways, I think we were in a van going to a local rave(blackout?) and then I received a text from Emma Hewitt!! Was pretty excited about that, and so were the people around me(I forget who they are though).

And then suddenly the setting changed and I was in my room with this girl? Brunette I remember, we started kissing but then I had to go to the bathroom... then my Mom came in and asked her who she was and I was scared but relieved so I hid in the bathroom. Scared because well...she kind of walked in on us but relieved because I didn't want to do anything with the girl...

...and then I woke up. I swear, it was more vivid about 12 hours ago.... I just didn't have the time to write it down -.-

26. Dream 3

Hmm so today when I woke up I was able to immediately realize that I had a dream. It was almost like a combination of 3 dreams...

Part one, Alan built a new computer and had no use for his desk anymore so we moved it downstairs in the living room corner, but it was somehow at my cousin's house.

Part two(I'm not entirely sure whether this actually was a dream from last night, or from another time, or if it was made up all together d:) at Huong's house, and little kids were attacking the house... We went outside to try to fight them off by throwing snowballs at them, but we were eventually over powered and had to split up and run off. Then the police came, as I was returning to the house I see dozens of kids laying on the ground crying. I went inside and noticed they took my laptop, which had all my school work in it...

Part three, back at my house. Parents were having a debate about flat screen tvs and CRTs. Eventually (somehow) a flat screen LCD appeared and my dad decides to replace the CRT in his room with the LCD. We move the old tv out to the living room against the wall. Another man, presumably a repair man appears and says he can dispose(or fix, I don't remember) the old tv. My mom tells the man that it's my dad's and he would be angry if he took it away (dad was at work). Grandma then says that she wanted the old tv in her room, on top of her cabinet, and it could be hooked up to either the satellite or antenna.

Andddd that's it, all that I can really recall at the moment!

25. Dream Two

Hmm this was more of an abstract dream... When I woke up I didn't even know I had a dream. A random thought came to my head later today... around 12pm(?) that triggered me to remember that I dreamt last night. I don't actually remember much, but here it is:

I was waiting for the bus somewhere(?) and there was a convenience store up ahead. My mom was with me... she went into the store and came back out, and said she bought me a pack of cigarettes(LOL). I took it and took the wrapper off and placed the pack into my jacket pocket. Then my mom got into her car and left, because I was waiting for the bus to go somewhere(?). After about 2 minutes of walking towards the bus stop I realized that "wtf was my mom doing, giving me a pack of cigarettes?" so I gave her a call and asked her about it. She picks up and said that it was for in case I was bored.

Anddddd that's all that I remember. Was a pretty random dream ahaha.

24. Dream One

Might start keeping sort of a 'dream journal'... some interesting dreams lately... provided that I can post them before I forget d:

Very vaguely remember sitting at someone's house...sitting on a couch... a friend(?) sitting on a couch(?) across from me...trying to get the attention of a girl....she had bright red lips...very asian looking. She ignores friend(?) comes sits next to me...starts talking to me...gets really close and hugs me(?) I try to get away but she's on me...I turn to my left and I see An...she was sitting on a single-seat couch...she rescues(LOL) me by pulling the girl off of me... I smile at her and she smiles back at me... but it appears as if something is bothering her(?)... or maybe it was a genuine smile - I don't quite remember. But from this I got a happy feeling - which was still present when I woke up.

When I woke up, for a brief moment I thought everything was back to normal with TEAM, like it was in the last year of highschool, before the 'situation'. Relationship between me and her seem tense...or maybe I'm over thinking it... regardless it for sure isn't the same as before. Hmmmm...

23. ...

Living with poor decisions... for the feelings of comfort..

22. (:

money comes, money goes, but family stays forever.

21. Time

So it's been quite a while since I've last posted something, and since the last post, a lot of things had happened. Thing got complicated, with Hugh. I think I've made some sort of realization, that us being together would have a magnitude of ripple effects. As well, she's gone for a while, and time is a big factor in emotions. I wonder if her feelings are real, or merely just infatuation.

As well with CNG... just what I suspect to be trolling me, getting back at me for what I've done in the past. Spite is a vicious thing.

Feelings... are just no good.

20. Quote

The littlest actions defines the greatest character.

19. !!!

Diablo and new laptop just came in. Quite excited (: hmmmmm whether to set up now or wait until exams...
Kinda left out at school when all my friends are talking about it and I don't even play yet ):

18. Oops

Sighh so I had been caught up from blogging recently... even though I just recently picked it up. Oops. Had work after school pretty much everyday for the past 2 weeks, thank god that's over. Have another week of school, then it's exams! Not sure how I feel about it, the entire year just seemed to whiz by. Hopefully I do..pretty well?

17. Second Rave!

Last night was amazing... on par with Above & Beyond. Went to go see DJ Shogun and Alex M.O.R.P.H at Empire Ballroom! The venue was a club scene, but it didn't matter, because what matters was who I was with. DP, AN, SCO, made my night. Shogun was just amazing live. Even managed to get pictures with him, was super excited!!! Quite the night with everyone, and the best morning with AN. Didn't even sleep, just chilled with her until sunrise. Amazing "first date"? Ahah.

16. Work

The past week's been pretty hectic... got so screwed on bio exam today due to lack of studying... I blame work ): The fact that it's minimum wage makes it even worse. Just been super tired lately, not enough sleep ftw? Work gets in the way of so much shit... haven't been to the gym, or hung out with any friends really. Not worth it at all for minimum wage. Sighhhhh

15. Late Night Snack....

So today at work we had an audit, where we had to scan every item in the store. It wouldn't had been too bad, if we didn't have to stay until 12! Beep beep beep all I heard the whole time at work LOL. But we finished about half an hour early, and me and my friend got hungry so we decided to head over to McDonalds. Was not a good idea. Here's why: late night stomachs aches ): the first bite out of that juicy burger was heaven... Except now it sucks LOL. Such is life?

14. Unsure

Feelings come and go. But when feelings come between friendships... :/ the one person I'd least expect to have feels for me... Not to mention that it's kind of stupid to "ask for distance" when we're such good friends. I really hope things will be the same again... ACTUALLy quite sadden by this... Halp. You're truly such an awesome person, I love hanging out with you.

13. People...

Sometimes people are really hard to understand... More specificly their emotions and feelings. It gets so complex that people themselves don't understand what they feel. And isn't it crazy how you can feel if someone is happy, or sad, or mad, etc. These emotions affect one's actions, and I think it's what bothers me the most. Is it possible for one to change their behavior towards someone without changing their feelings towards someone?

Example - A&B was two days ago, and ever since then AN seems to be more distant from me... I get the feeling that she's mad at me, though I can't really think of any reason why. Or what if I'm just crazy and it's just in my head... /confused.

12. NTS (A&B)

Above & Beyond rave @ EEC with AN DP KV ANGU CNG SCO KCHAN SPOON
- With Andy Phil Jeff Paulina

First time buying drink for AN (;
Throwing empties on the ground LOL
Jump <3
First rave with TEAM+AN
Saying HEY PHIL IM PHIL everytime I saw Phil
Dancing with everyone
Hugging and spinning AN on middle of dance floor!
Everyone was super friendly!
Jagger bombs d;
Almost kissed AN on lips after rave o;

and ofcourse, the moment when we all got in...TEAM!

11. Above & Beyond!

Wow so I have to say, probably one of the funnest of my life!!! We had our after grad at the Above and Beyond Group Therapy rave! The atmosphere was amazing, was with the best crowd of people! Just so speechless, congrats graduates of 2012 (;

Drinks were super expensive though, I wish I was rich so I could've bought some for everyone d;

10. Graduation

Wow the past two days just passed by so quickly! Been looking towards May 24th and 25th for graduation day and now it's over. It was so chaotic, it's nice to be able to relax and reflect upon the times we had. Everybody looked amazing, and the weather was lovely! Kind of sad to see the days pass (,:

9. Bike Ride!

Last night went for a bike ride... It's been almost 2 years since! I remember we used to ride bikes all the time, around the neighborhood. Everytime we would go to seven eleven or some gas station to get snacks/slurpees, carefree days. It was nice to relive it again ^^

8. Eat

Just got back home from night out last night at friends house, pretty tired. Played socialbles last night, tried to get everyone drunk ahah. Woke up to Derpin throwin up, was quite the site. Then went to WEM with him and AN, shopping for her navy heels for grad! Amazingly we stuck it through even though me and Derpin were both half dead.

Went out to eat Bun Bo Hue later, was actually amazing! Either it was super delicious or we were just super hungry d:

7. Phew!

Finally decided to wash all my laundry and clean out my closet...halfway done laundry -.- going through my messy closet...so much regret...wasted so much money on clothes ): What was I thinkingggg Sighhhhh.

6. Fresh Air

Hmmm so haven't seen Sing in a while, it's been almost a week. Surprisingly, I feel some relief with the weight off my shoulder. It wasn't fun when I would see her all the time, it felt more like a routine.

AN got into a car accident today...heart jumped when she told us... Hope everything is okay ): Please be careful!!

5. Messy Room...

Sighh why is it so hard to keep a room clean? A bad habit of mine: whenever I take clothes off, I tend to just leave it on the floor. I always say oh I'll pick it up later... but I never do! I just found a sock I wore a week ago that's supposed to be in the wash...

4. Something New

Thinking about what AN said, about the feeling of getting to know someone, the feeling of developing feeling. It's such an interesting feel. Experiencing this, I'm not sure about how I feel about Sing anymore. With her, it's just a routine. No where as close as the interesting feeling of getting to know someone! They say "the chase is the best part," I think I agree..

3. To You

Woww AN is just the best! Mothers day today, and she went to pick up flowers for me to give to my mom and grandma... She's such a nice person! For sure she made our day today! Thank you so much!!
One day... I'd like to lay down on a cool bed a grass and star gaze with you!

2. Wings!

Quite the quiet day today at school, exams in progress coupled with a physics trip so everything seemed less lively. Made me think about the current friends I have, how long are they going to be with me? In the sense that would we still be friends a year from now? These thoughts further developed and thought about how sudden the passing of one's life would be. Here today, gone tomorrow. I would miss them, would they miss me too?

After schools for the past week had been really nice, no longer having to dedicate all my time on CN, so there's time to chill with my other friends. Been getting really close to AN KV DP, which is nice.

We went out for wings, and the night was just very relaxing, had a great time. Time with these guys are always great, I truly love them. Even talked about the future for a bit, wondering where we'd be a few years from now, even a bit of planning for a summer trip. Hopefully no matter where we go, we'll always be close. Appreciate the ones you care for!

1. Blue

Blue's a color with calming attributes, that can create feelings of peace and tranquility. While the pigment can be often related to sadness and sorrow, it's visual can affect the human system to produce chemicals which relaxes the body. People often bear incredible amounts of stress in everyday scenarios; nobody deserves to be worked up all the time. Nowadays so man people are warped into their 9-5 jobs, focusing on making money. Though, they never get to spend this money, nor get to spend time with their families. They don't seem to live their lives for themselves, but rather work for the sake of working. Going on a tangent here, rambling, but it's frustrating to see.